Does your unhealed childhood trauma effects your child’s future?
Priorly you need to know what childhood trauma means. Simply, when a child experiences an event that causes emotional distress and affects the child’s mental health. Effects of childhood trauma root themselves deep inside the person. It participates in developing a child’s personality, nature, and social skills.
So, before you think about your child’s experiences, I recommend thinking about your childhood first. Do you know if you have unhealed trauma? Certainly not! Because as we grow up, we forget or overcome the stressful memories of the past, but the effect it caused always stays with us.
If untreated, it can result in impulsive and aggressive behavior, lack of emotional understanding, and projecting your insecurities and fears onto your family members. It makes your life experience hard, and then your experiences shape your child’s future.
Before entrusting ourselves with the responsibilities of being a parent, we must be sure we are ready for it emotionally and mentally.
Childhood trauma can manifest itself in different forms in children. Here, we are talking about parents traumatizing their children. Sounds absurd? Yes, parents, without realizing it, cause emotional damage to the child. Consider your behavior toward your child. It is not necessary to experience something to be traumatized. Listening to or watching violence in parents and witnessing verbal and physical abuse can also cause trauma.
World Health Organization (WHO) states, “Children who are themselves not victims of but do witness, the perpetration of violence can subsequently grow violent themselves. According to experts, such children are more likely to beat up their partners when they become adults compared to their counterparts brought up in non-violent homes.”
Then what should we do to save our child from our childhood trauma? The only way is to heal ourselves first, then understand our children’s emotional needs.
The problem is with our mentality and society. Stop forcing your child to be the second version of you. Every child has their individuality. We should encourage the difference instead of suppressing it. But somewhere between the race of success and status, Parents forget the most vital ingredient of a child’s growth which is trust and support.
How do we solve this?
You can accept that we all face mental distress at some point in our life, and it is normal to go to a psychologist or therapist. treating your mental health issues and childhood trauma is the best thing you can do for your child. You can’t pour from an empty cup so first fill up your cup with good stuff, and replace the dirty water with cleaner water before pouring it onto your children. Take parenting classes, constantly communicate with your child, don’t neglect their needs and emotions, and be conscious of your child’s physical and mental well-being.